I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
