Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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