She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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