yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
In America we eat man semen.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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