none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
