Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
