I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize