Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
