The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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