i just wanna soil my oats bro
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
