i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
