my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
