She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
