you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
