I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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