Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
