totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
