I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
