I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
