shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my poor anus
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
