I cannot find my penis.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
