Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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