ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
