Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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