Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
