I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Shitshow foam night was such a success
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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