I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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