yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
