ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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