no one should ever give us hovercrafts
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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