his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
