he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
The feeling are messing with the penis
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
