i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize