No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
