it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Randomize