All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
