Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
