At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
