Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
