Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
