I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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