Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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