How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
