my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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