tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
