just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
