In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
