and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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