so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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