i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
