morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
