I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
