he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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