I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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