i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
