Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
