Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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