It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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