What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
