i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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