she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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