Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize